OPAL'S MILLION DOLLAR DUCK

by Patrick, John

Part of this author’s ever popular “Opal” series, in which the irrepressible Opal Kronkie once again triumphs hilariously over the forces of evil—while remaining blissfully ignorant of what her antagonists are up to.

Searching for costumes for their next production, Desmond and Queenie, the “stars” of the local summer-stock company, drop by “Opal’s Antique Junque Shop.” While rooting through Opal’s treasures they spot a nondescript oil painting—a still life of a dead mallard duck and an apple—and recalling an item in the morning newspaper about an old master who has disappeared from the local art museum, suddenly realize that this may be the missing canvas, for which the insurance company is offering a sizable reward. Summoning up all their acting skills, they try to charm Opal into selling the painting for a pittance, but she explains that she plans to give it to her friend, Rosie, as a birthday present, whereupon the plot thickens hilariously. Desmond and Queenie resort to everything from outrageous flattery to knock-out drops trying to get their hands on the picture. Rosie, however, rejects it on the grounds that it reminds her of her pet duck (which was run over by a truck); and the plotters, much to their glee, march off triumphantly with their prize—unaware that a later edition of the paper carries a new item: The old master has been found, and the canvas that disappeared was a worthless copy that the museum had thrown out with the garbage!